“When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught to fly.” – Patrick Overton

I have a lot of quotes that I love. This one I found in my early twenties. It has stayed with me all these years. I can tell you that as I was approaching my hearing and starting my degree, this is what I kept in mind. I was all eyes and ears for any piece of information that was going to cross my path. I had no idea what I was doing, and I felt completely in the dark.

Life can be pretty incredible sometimes. Unpredictable. For the good, the bad and the ugly.

What can start out as a complete pile of horse shit can become fertilizer. Be what fuels the seeds buried inside of you to grow.

There are many people who have taken what they learned through advocating on behalf of their own children in education and have created something beautiful out of it. By helping others. Spreading everything they have learned.

Some people have turned it into a new career, have gone into politics, taken on leadership roles, become “advocates”, or volunteer in various support roles in their communities. Parents have gone back to school to become teachers, education assistants, literacy tutors, non-profit leaders, etc. People have been evolving, pivoting, and shifting as they navigate life. But they are forever bringing what they learned and practiced with them, and other people are benefiting.

I feel very grateful for having the opportunity to return to school and get a second degree. This time in criminology and legal studies. I work as a Health Care & Human Rights Legal Advocate for the most traumatized and marginalized population of people in our society. Most of my clients are disabled. The extent of trauma that they have lived through, and are currently living through, I can’t even wrap my head around as to how these people are still breathing. I never talk about my work to friends or family. I see it as an act of love that I keep this part of my life away from them. This work isn’t for anyone who can’t live in the grey. The government systems I advocate in are brutal, abusive, and oppressive, intentionally targeting my clients behind system-approved processes. I have meetings with dangerous people who all wear suits and say they care. I love my job. I do a mix of direct 1:1 individual client work and also systemic work. Every day is a protest. A strategic act of rebellion. A part of my advocate role is that I write human rights complaints and represent clients navigating human rights systems. If you ask me where I want to be in five years and what I want to be doing, it is this. Here is where I want to be. Everything I have experienced, navigating my own experience advocating for my children and navigating the BC HRT combined with my own lived experience, has benefited my clients. I learn more every day.

To the parents out there who are in the dark. Furious. Angry. Ready to take on the world. I say this: use it. Be open to what the future will place in front of you. It may not feel like it, but you are learning so much right now. You are in the thick of it now, but you won’t always be. You never know what nuggets of gold you are learning and how this will help other people in the future. People are always going to need help. The need will never end. It’s natural for advocates to take breaks. Collect ourselves. Reflect and sometimes pivot into other helping roles. But our experiences are never wasted.

They aren’t breaking you. They are building you.

You never know…..

Just be open.

One day you may find yourself in the most wonderful position in life. To help someone else.