Do not think for a moment that school administration isn’t assessing your threat level.

They are.

Whether you want them to be or not. They won’t ask your permission.

It most likely will NOT be the teacher, but the SENIOR administration absolutely is, and so is the Principal.

They aren’t just assessing you; they are assessing the cost of the situation as a whole. The details and context of your situation. For example: the cost of an extra EA v. lawyer fees. The details of your allegations with the possible outcome of the tribunal, with wait time, with providing current accommodations etc,. The lawyers will be giving them their advice on how concerned they need to be.

I hate that lawyers cost so much, but in this circumstance it can actually work for us. EA’s are way cheaper than lawyers. I used to wonder how on earth the school district lawyers do what they do and sleep at night. They sleep in silk sheets and sleep absolutely fine. Bless them for being so expensive. The insurance company will not be impressed. School administrators are also very busy and their time is very valuable. If you want to rack up the bill in money and time on an issue, you can absolutely do so. Be expensive in multiple ways.

School is categorized as a service. If you were to walk into a store, in order to obtain something from that store (a service), you need money. It is the currency of that service. You see something you like; you look at the price tag. Chicken is $25.00. Gum is $1.75.

Your threat level is your currency in your child’s education. (How sad is that.)

You don’t need to threaten anyone.

In fact if you do…. your strength just crashed.

They will view you as weak. They know they will be able to control you, poke you and watch you create your own documentation to weaken your cause. Human rights complaints get dismissed due to rudeness, insulting language, swearing etc, etc, etc. They would LOVE for you to destroy your own case by losing your shit. They cross their fingers for it.

Your strength, your muscles, your flex is going to be documentation and the language you use in your emails.

Why?

Because those will allow you to be successful if and when you file external complaints. That is the threat. They know you are “building your file”. That is what lawyers do when they are on cases. They build the file in case it ever goes for a Judicial Review. If an employer wants to fire someone you don’t like, they start padding the file. HR departments do this all the time. They pad the file with little things, whether it’s true or not. It all builds over time. Everything builds. Lawyers argue over the smallest things and never let anything go because they know that it’s the little things over time that could be what tips the scales and you win your case.

BUILD YOUR FILE.

Document. Everything.

You may say to me… Kim…I can’t.

I don’t have the capacity.

I don’t have the resources.

I am barely hanging on.

How do I get the school to accommodate my child?

I say, yes, it is unfair. Totally.

The unfairness doesn’t change reality or my response.

I am so sorry.

But here it is.

You may need to file complaints to get yourself off the hamster wheel. So, BUILD your file now.

You may not have the capacity now. You may not have the resources now. You may not be mad enough now. But a few years from now… you just may be. You may have the capacity that you never expected to have. You can’t predict the future. And you will be thanking your younger self for creating this document trail that will now elevate your human rights complaint when you are ready to file. It will give you options. It will give you choice. That is power.

People will naturally think that they are tough and that they are sticking up for their kid when they make a lot of noise, when they get angry, when they threaten the school. I friggen get it. I was so mad, I told the district I was going to gut them like a fish. So, I totally get it. But if you REALLY want to scare the shit out of them and increase your threat level, BUILD YOUR FILE.

Parents threaten the school all the time. It’s just background noise to them. They don’t care. Truly. You think you are having an impact on them. You aren’t. The only arena they are concerned about is the legal one and public relations. If they know you don’t have the documentation (evidence) they are not concerned one bit. Not one bit. You think they are worried because of what you wrote, but they aren’t. They know the one thing that triggers concern in them is documentation, and if you don’t have it, you are nothing to them. They don’t need to do anything. They will flick you off like an annoying bug.

So please,

Document.

Be strategic.

Hearings are years from now, and the tribunal will rely on it.

Elshazly v. Vancouver Police Board 2026 BCHRT 195

This hearing was 6 years after the event.

[11]          The witnesses testified about events that happened in a short period of time, nearly six years earlier. I consider that over this length of time, memories have understandably faded, shifted, or hardened around a particular version of events: Clarke v. City of Vancouver and another, 2024 BCHRT 298 at para. 24. In my view, no party’s account of the incident is completely reliable. ………

[12]         On most issues, I have found that the most reliable evidence is contained in documents created at the time of the events, including the audiovisual recordings put into evidence. I have used these documents as a “reliable yardstick against which to compare and assess the reliability of the witness’ testimony”: Boschoff v. Inspired Retreats, 2014 BCHRT 6 at para. 8; Clarke at para. 24.

*********

Your document = your muscle.

** AND, the building of your file now may just be what creates the change so that you will never have to file a complaint. Because the school will know. They will see your muscle flex.

Build your file.

It will benefit you in ways you will never even be aware of. The people who are not building their files will absolutely be walked over.

You are teaching the school how to see you.

The best gift you can give your kid, whether you are comfortable doing this or not, is to build their file.

Don’t wait until you feel comfortable doing this, just do it. You wait until you are ready, you’ll be waiting until a crisis hits. Be uncomfortable and do it anyways. The alternative is worse. Trust me. Way worse.

Build your file.

It may be the very thing that keeps you out of the external complaint system.

We can build an army. A well-informed, knowledgeable, empowered army of passionate parents. All building our files.

Everything the system uses against us, we can reverse and fling it back at them.

They use delay.

We can drag them through YEARS of litigation.

You want to throw delay at me?

Oh honey, I can file complaints, and this isn’t going to be over for you anytime soon.

They will want to limit their damage period.

If I were to ever wish anything for anyone starting out in education with a disabled child, it would be three things.

1. Get connected to your community. You aren’t alone.
2. Become knowledgeable of your rights and your child’s rights. Learn about the duty to accommodate.
3. BUILD YOUR FILE.

THE LANGUAGE to build your file – IS THE DUTY TO ACCOMMODATE.

Blogs on this topic
Documenting for Advocacy ** Key blog
School Protection Program – School Districts – Lawyers: The Three Musketeers
Riddle: Who has the final decision making power?
Liability in Education
This is an Emergency! Serious School Incidents